the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
