I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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