just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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