We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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