So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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