So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
