forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
