frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
