Kiss
Puke
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
