party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you mean i was at the winter classic?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
