Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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