I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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