wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
