You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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