I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
