You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I don't deserve a penis
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
