your room smells of hookers.
And success
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
