he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
