You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
