I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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