If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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