a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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