My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Sorry my hands just texted you
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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