Whod you bang
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
