Swine flu. Run for my life!
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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