Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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