I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
