You made me cry and you don't even care
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Randomize
