that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
