Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
