if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You've changed since you got that strap on
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
