I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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