i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
