Will you blow on my dice?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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