Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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