What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
