just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just cut my nipple shaving
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
