i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
