It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
