Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
