i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
