i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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