Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
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