How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
So many bounce houses so little time
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
