Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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