last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
