Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize