jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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