Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
