i jhust puked up my retainher.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
