Please, let me fuck your mom
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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